Statistics One-Liners

Statistics means never having to say you're certain.

Statistics is the art of never having to say you're wrong.

Variance is what any two statisticians are at.

97.3% of all statistics are made up.

It's like the tale of the roadside merchant who was asked to explain how he could sell rabbit sandwiches so cheap. "Well," he explained, "I have to put some horse-meat in too. But I mix them 50:50. One horse, one rabbit." (Darrel Huff, How to Lie with Statistics)

Are statisticians normal?

Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.

43% of all statistics are worthless.

3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.

Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.

A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.

80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot.

Fett's Law: Never replicate a successful experiment.


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